Inside Hoops- Growing From A Loss

Losing is tough. As a coach, you want to be surrounded by players who take losses hard. As players, you want to be surrounded by teammates who take losses hard. 

I hated if we lost a road game and ten minutes into the trip home, players were laughing and appeared to have "gotten over" the loss. I used to tell players before we headed home,"On the way home, I expect you to either show your teammates that the loss hurts or pretend to your teammates that the loss hurts." 

That didn’t mean that the players could not talk. I didn’t want the players to come across to each other as, “I don’t care, it’s not that important.” In losses, players need to show their teammates that the team is important to me. 

As players and as coaches, you don't automatically become stronger from a loss. When you lose, it is an opportunity to learn and to grow. Obviously you would like to learn and grow while winning, and not need a lose to grow. Unfortunately, a loss seems to do a better job of getting both players’ and coaches’ attention.  

As a coach and as players you have to "own the loss." If you are not willing to "own the loss," you will not grow. As a coach, I found there were some important keys to handling a loss.

DON’T BLAME EFFORT

I think I will throw up if I hear another HS coach in a post-game say,”I can’t coach effort, they have to want it.” The coach who does this is basically saying, let’s not look at my X/O’s, our skill development, our prep, or the analytics of a game- let’s just blame the kids. It is way too easy to say, "We didn't play hard." 

The message is- let’s not look at what we can improve on- you guys just need to work harder. 

And yes, a coach can coach effort. Teams who don’t give effort in games are most likely not giving effort in practice. The coach needs to make practices more intense and more competitive. 

DON’T BLAME REFS

Surprise, the refs blew some calls. Coach Knosher used to tell us, “Expect the refs to be bad, then be pleasantly surprised if they are good.” 

I don’t know how many times when a coach would say, “We lost by 5 but they shot 10 more free throws than we did.” This is coach code for, “We didn’t really lose, the refs cheated us.”  My thought, “Quit fouling and maybe you will win.”

A coach says,”We lost by 7 but the refs blew at least 5 calls, with good refs we could have won.” The coach who does this is basically saying, ”My team is fine and doesn’t need to change, we just need different refs.”  

If this is the case, then in practice don’t work on anything, just go in the corner and have the players pray for good refs? Good luck with that. When you blame refs, you definitely are not "owning the loss." 

It is REALLY hard for players to not blame the refs if they hear the coaches and parents screaming all night at the refs. 

DON’T BLAME BAD SHOOTING

This is a classic way to handle a loss. Why didn’t you shoot well? Are you bad shooters? Are your players taking bad shots? Offensively are you not getting the right shots in the right places for the right players? These are questions that need to be asked. 

Saying we lost because we didn’t shoot well is like saying, “We just weren’t lucky tonight.” 

Most likely you shot poorly because the other team played good defense. And most likely you didn’t execute your offense well enough to get good shots. 

OWN IT 

Coaches have to analyze the entire team after a loss. First, coaches need to hold themselves accountable. As coaches, we need to be willing to critically look at what we are doing. Are there things in practice that we have let slide? Are there sets that are not really effective?  Coaches need to be willing to look at their strategy, and their personnel decisions. 

Players need to willing to own their mistakes. 

Until coaches and players first identify errors and weaknesses, they are not going to improve. Figure out changes that are needed. 

Good players and good coaches don't need losses to get their attention. Good players and good coaches are willing to look critically at what they are doing after wins. As a result, good teams often don't lose.