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Tuesday, June 3, 2025

Alan Stein’s Expert Advice For Basketball Parents

Alan Stein started at a basketball trainer for pro basketball players. He worked with and helped develop some of the top NBA players. He knows the game and he knows the mindset of the best of the best. 

Today Stein has become a coach for organizations and of leaders in many fields. He shares the most effective and the least effective ways to help build up people. 

I have collected a series of Tweets from Alan Stein in which he shares expert advice for basketball parents. 

Any parent who wants to help their son/daughter reach their goals in basketball, MUST read these Tweets. Stein clearly spells out the do’s and don’t’s of being a basketball parent. 

As you read these- remember, he has been paid lots of money by the best pro players because he knows what leads to success!!

Parents who shout instructions to their child during a game do a few things: 1) Undermine the coach 2) Confuse their child 3) Sound like an ass Remember, just because something is UNDERSTANDABLE doesn’t mean it is ACCEPTABLE. Good intentions doesn’t equal ‘right.’


I will be attending my daughter’s kindergarten game and my son’s 2nd grade game today. You won’t hear a peep from me the entire time. When each game is over, all you will hear from me is, ‘I love to watch you play.’ Support ✔️ Coach ❌



And the ONLY things I ask of my children before their game is... 1️⃣ Have fun 2️⃣ Listen to your coach 3️⃣ Be a good teammate 4️⃣ Play hard NOTHING else matters...


As I read the replies to my Tweets... I’m blown away by how many people simply don’t get it. 🤦🏼‍♂️ Utterly clueless. What is so hard to comprehend about letting coaches coach, players play and officials officiate? At every level. All of the time. No exceptions.


Parents yelling instructions to their kids from the sidelines is as appropriate and helpful as children going to work and yelling things like, ‘Send that email!’ or ‘File those papers!’ at their parents.


And if you justify it by saying ‘you know more than the coach’ you are missing the point. It has nothing to do with knowledge or expertise. It has to do with principle.


Yelling things like ‘hustle’ is useless. No one hustles because they are being told to. Hustle (and effort) are a choice. Yelling ‘box out’ is pointless too. By the time the player hears it, processes it and tries to do it... it is too late - the play is over.

I realize parents are well intentioned... but that doesn’t make them right... or helpful for that matter. Screaming instructions adds noise, chaos, confusion and robs the child of an opportunity to think for themselves. Decision making is a skill that needs practice.


A good player tunes ALL of it out anyway. So if you are yelling at your child you are telling everyone that ‘they aren’t any good.’ 🎤💨


‘Alan, WHY are you posting these Tweets?’ 1) I take my role as a father/parent very seriously 2) I want kids to enjoy sports and feel many parents are ruining that 3) I want to protect the sanctity of youth sports & coaches (they play a crucial role in a child’s development)


Some folks seem to think my weekend Tweets are anti-parent. That is simply untrue. I am a parent. I appreciate parents. Sports parents make countless sacrifices for their children... time... money... emotion. And 99% of parents are VERY well intended...


If a parent wants to take their own kid to the gym or to the park for a private workout... they are welcome to shout anything they want. But in a TEAM sport, when they do so in games, it affects everyone else's kid and their experience. Hence the reason I speak up.

1 comment:

  1. These are some of my favorite posts. How to be a better fan, parent, supporter... I wish it was mandatory reading before being allowed to be a spectator.

    ReplyDelete