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| Henry & Lauren. Hall |
As a high school teacher, I had the opportunity to have my son in several classes. Having Allen in class was definitely the highlight of my teaching career. It was like everyday was one of those “take your son to work” days!
When Allen was 8 or 9, we went to the University of Wisconsin Father-Son Caomp. They had a camp free throw championship. Allen and I advanced and actually won the camp championship. I share this story not to let you know that Allen and were (and are) great FT shooters. I share that trivia because it was really, really special to compete with and share a victory with my son.
I never had the opportunity as a high school coach to coach my son, but I can imagine it is a very special experience to share being part of the same team, competing together, and then experiencing both losses and wins together.
I have had the opportunity to “talk” with four coaches, who I respect tremendously. Three are Hall of Fame coaches, and the fourth is just getting started as a head coach and will eventually be a Hall of Fame coach. All four of them have coached their sons or daughters. Today the four coaches share their experiences in this blog, and then tomorrow their “kids” share their experience playing for their dads.
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| Thom Sigel |
The four coaches are:
Thom Sigel- Thom has been retired for a couple years. Thom coached at Rock Falls and then at Rock Island. (I always thought he would eventually coach at all the “rocks” and end up at Rockford.) Thom’s teams won State titles at both Rock Falls and Rock Island. Both Trey and Colton played for their dad.
Brad Scheffler- Brad has been the coach at Springfield High for over two decades. His teams have won 9 Regionals, 4 Sectionals, and made 4 State tourney appearances. His daughter, Emma just graduated from Springfield after playing for her father.
Henry Hall- Henry was a longtime assistant coach at Alleman and at Rock Island. HE became the head coach at Rock Island in 2019, and will be starting his 7th season in 2024-5. In his first season, the Rocks won the Sectional title. His daughter, Lauren played for Rock Island, and now will be a coach on Henry’s staff.
Mike Reynolds- Mike has coached at Bismarck-Henning, Galesburg, and DeKalb in his 21 year career. His career record is 493-208. His son, Sean will be a senior this coming year at DeKalb.
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| Brad Scheffler - #3 Emma Scheffler |
Massey- What are the pluses of coaching your own son/daughter? Are there parts of this coaching experience that you find especially rewarding?
Thom Sigel- It was positive to be able to go through the journeys of coaching with my two sons. I was fortunate our family was accepting of me coaching and was invested in the programs I coached. However, being able to share so many experiences with my boys was special. After missing some of their youth games and many of their junior high games, we saw each other every night at practice, and obviously I was able to make their games when I was coaching them. So while it was nice to see them play, it was more special to go through the seasons together. There were definitely some low points, but being able to share in the big wins, great games, and championships made it all worth it.
Brad Scheffler- Emma and I rode to the games together in my car during her junior and senior year. We rode everyday to practice and games her freshman and sophomore year. I enjoyed talking about her day and what was going on in her life. We didn’t usually talk basketball because we did that in practice. We developed a bond that I haven’t been able to do with my boys since I don’t coach them. My middle daughter is starting high school this fall so it will be good to start all over again. After the tough games, is the most rewarding part as we replay the game. That is why coaches kids are good students of the game because of those conversations. I could have Emma run practice and would not have missed a beat.
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| Mike Reynolds |
Henry Hall- The plus of coaching Lauren was the chance to spend more time with her while she participated in her favorite sport. We come from a basketball family so being able to share her high school basketball experience is something I will never forget. Again, just the chance to watch her excel and grow in a sport that she eventually went onto play in college at a school that her mother and I both played basketball at, Augustana.
Mike Reynolds- The major plus for me is that I get to experience every day with him. The most rewarding moments for me really are not the games but how he interacts with his teammates on a daily basis and just being able to see his hard work pay off.
Massey- What are negatives of coaching your own son/daughter? Are there parts of this experience that sometimes create frustrations or stress?
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| Sigel Family |
Thom Sigel- I think that being a coach's son can push a player to play at a higher level because of the expectations placed on them. I know that it was tough for my sons at times because I pushed them to be better, but I believe they both understood it helped make them better players. We used to have discussions about how there would be times I wouldn't be able to allow them the leeway I might give others. I am sure there are always those in the public that think my sons received favoritism. While I knew them better than any other players and how they could play through difficult situations, but there were also times I would take them out of the game for mistakes because they were my sons and wanted to avoid the "favoritism" label.
The boys would be able to address the negativity of being the coach's sons, but I also saw or knew of some of the backlash they took in the public, within the school, and even on the team at times. So while I felt I did my best to coach the team, I was aware of that dynamic and felt I had to manage it as a coach and as a dad. One of the negative aspects I found was that the times the roles of dad and coach would cross. Early on I realized I wasn't able to enjoy games as other dads did. They may be there to root on the team, but I am sure every parent wants their child to play well on game nights. I knew I was there to coach the team to the best of my ability, but I am not sure most realize that coaches who coach a child shouldn't be expected to turn the "dad role" off when the ball is tipped. There were games when a son wasn't playing well. As a parent, it may have been disappointing, but as the coach I had to sit them down because I believed it was best for the team. Ideally, we would win the game with my son playing well to help the team, but it doesn't always go that way..
Brad Scheffler- A lot of jealous parents that say stuff like the only reason they play is because they are the coach’s kid. That is why I always told Emma that she had to be better than her teammates for me to bring her up before her junior year. Usually the players know how they stand because they are at practice and see who can play or not. Just wish the parents would be able to see the same thing.
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| Henry Hall |
Henry Hall- I don't think we ever had any stress or negatives. If any negatives, it was maybe what people thought of her playing time, or people thinking she got special treatment. Her play kinda proved how much she should play and her playing time.
Mike Reynolds- I haven't really seen any negatives. I enjoy everyday of it. I am sure there are frustrating days for him but as a parent I am getting to experience something that most parents will never get to.I have just stressed to Sean from the beginning to do your best and most of all be a good teammate. A microscope is naturally on the "coaches kid" but I think that Sean has handled it well. I coach Sean like I do everyone else. I really stressed to my assistants when he got to high school to coach him just like you would any other kid. If he needs to be corrected then we need to do it and if he needs praise then we need to do it. Overall my assistants have done a great job of coaching him.
Massey- Either going into this or during this experience, what is the best advice you got from anyone?
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| Brad Scheffler |
Thom Sigel- I tried to remember that I should enjoy the opportunity to coach my sons. There would certainly be difficulties, but I was told to enjoy the experiences and memories we would have together.
Brad Scheffler- I asked Neil Alexander at Lincoln for advice before I started coaching Emma on how to coach your own kids. He told me to go crazy on them and hold them more accountable the first two weeks of the season than any other kid. If the other kids see you going off on your own kid, it could be them soon. I just warned Emma before the season that this would happen and she handled it great. I also had my daughters be my water girls since they were in third grade. They would go on bus trips and be in the locker rooms for games. When Emma got to high school, she knew what to expect.
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| Mike Reynolds |
Henry Hall- The best advice I ever got was to leave basketball at the gym and when we were at home, just to be son and daughter. Now, again when you live in a basketball family with two coaches and a son playing Division 1 basketball at the time, that is sometimes hard, but we always made it work.
Mike Reynolds- I really talked with a number of coaches that had coached their kids. Neil Alexander, Thom Sigel, Sean Taylor and Al Denison. I remember each one of them saying that once you get home, you have to turn the coach mode off and be his dad. I'm certainly not perfect with that but I think that is getting better over his four years.
Massey- Did you go into this promising yourself that there would be certain things you were going to do and not going to do? Almost like you set up some basic rules for yourself? Going into this, did your spouse set up any boundaries of how they expected it to work?
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| Thom Sigel with one of his sons. |
Thom Sigel- I suppose we had an understanding our goal would be to be careful with the roles of dad and coach overlapping. While it seems that may be nearly impossible, we tried to not to bring things from basketball home that interfered with our family. I know we crossed that line at times with some discussions of basketball, but I knew it wasn't fair to my boys to get more "coaching" at home while the other players didn't get more from coach after practices every night. So we tried our best to leave it at the gym and not bring it home. The positive times were when they may venture in while I was watching film and could be a part of film breakdown. I believe that was much different than me getting on them about a bad game or practice.
Brad Scheffler- I told Emma that I would never bring up basketball after we walked out the gym doors after practice or games unless she talked about it. We stuck to this and definitely worked for us. My wife was often the good cop and would go into her room after a rough game and they would talk. My wife always says that there would be no way that she could have played for me.
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| Henry Hall |
Henry Hall- No rules going in. My wife and I always lived by the rule of let the coaches coach. If THEY bring things up they want to talk about or if they wanted to ask for advice, we would help, but that is the only way we would talk about it.
Mike Reynolds- Sean has been on varsity and started every game for his first three years so at first that caused a little stress for me but I just kept telling myself to do what's best for our program and I think I have held true to that for his career. I am a big believer that nobody is bigger than the program and I think that has to be true if you are coaching your own son.
I think we have done a good job of keeping our basketball disagreements out of the house and at the gym.
Massey- Any advice you would give to other coaches going into this relationship?
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| Brad Scheffler |
Thom Sigel- I don't know that I have any particular advice, and maybe someone might have some takeaways from my insight I shared in response to the other questions. However, I think any advice I might have comes from being able to look back after they were done playing for me. I have come to realize we had special experiences in our coach-player relationship, but now those are great memories but we will always have the father-son relationships. So I would tell a coach going into a time of coaching their child is that while it can be easy to get caught up in the seasons, there is much more after basketball with our children.
Brad Scheffler- Definitely do it if you have the chance. So many coaches sacrifice their families because they are gone so much. This enables you to be with them a lot. Treat your kids the same and hold them accountable.
Henry Hall- Enjoy it and all the things that come with it. Don't put any added pressure on the kids because they are gonna naturally feel that already. Leave basketball at the gym and be the parent at home.
Mike Reynolds- My biggest advice would be to coach your son as hard as you coach everyone else. But most off all enjoy every single second because it seems like yesterday that Sean was entering high school and now he is starting his senior year. Celebrate all the positives on a daily basis.
Read the second part- Coaching 101- Player’s Talk About Having Parent as Coach. (Click on this) Coaching 101- Players’ Talk About Having Parent Coach Them
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