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Tuesday, October 29, 2024

Old School Coaches- Talking About Parents



“Old School Coaches” are veteran coaches who look at some of the tough questions that all coaches face. In the group we have HOF coaches from football, volleyball, boys basketball, and girls basketball. The group also includes four retired athletic directors. 

In future if you have some questions that you would like addressed- put them them in the comments at the end. 



Greg King- Sterling HS
In his head coaching career at Sterling, his football teams went 78-28, and had 10 straight play-off appearances and 5 conference titles. In addition to his success as a football coach, he was inducted in the Illinois Athletic Director's Association HOF. 

Mark Massey- Clinton HS
Mark was the head volleyball coach at Clinton for 38 years. His teams won 818 games, and twice took second in State. He is in the Iowa Volleyball HOF and Clinton HS HOF.

Thom Sigel- Rock Falls/Rock Island HS
Thom coached basketball for 32 years. His teams won 502 games, and he has the distinction of winning the State Title at both Rock Falls and Rock Island. Thom is in the IBCA HOF.

Mike Tracey- Alleman, UTHS, Moline HS
Mike coached football at Alleman, UT, and Moline for over 20 years. By most, he is considered the premier football coach in WB6 history. His teams won 140 games, and twice finished second in State. Mike is in the Alleman HS HOF and the Illinois Football HOF. He was also selected Illinois AD of the Year. 

Tom Wierzba- Farmington HS
Tom coached basketball for 38 years, coaching 26 years at Farmington. At Farmington, his teams won 7 sectionals and made 5 trips to State, including a third place and fourth place finish. For his career, his teams won 611 games. In addition, he coached softball at Farmington for 10 years- going 225-50. His softball teams won the State title twice and took fourth once. He has been inducted into both the IBCA and Greater Peoria Sports HOF's.

Bob Anderson- Williamsfield HS
Bob is retired as boys basketball coach at Williamsfield. At a school of only 89 students, in 45 years, his teams won 732 games along with numerous tourney and conference championships. His 1997 team made it to the Elite 8. 

Mike Cooper- Ottawa HS
Mike is the retired Athletic Director at Ottawa HS. He was varsity girls basketball coach for 22 years, as well as sophomore football coach for many years. He was inducted in the the IBCA HOF.

Tim Engebretson- United HS
He was varsity head football coach for many years at United HS. He also has coached basketball at different levels. His 2005 team won the Illinois State Title, and Tim is in the Illinois Football Coaches' HOF as well as the United HOF.

My Question
Obviously parents play a crucial role not only in their son/daughters sports experience but they have the ability to impact an entire sports program. What did you do to help get parents on the same page? What advice would you share with parents?





Mike Tracey- Alleman, UTHS

Like most schools, we got all of our information out at our parent meeting before practice started. This certainly did not head off all the problems, but it gave us some ammo when things went wrong.

We also spoke to the parents about the expectations for their son. We expected perfect attendance unless a medical or family issue interceded. We expected the players to treat the coaches with respect and the players and parents could expect the same from the coaching staff . we explained our simple philosophy to the parents:
Be the best person you can be, believe in something more important than yourself, be the best student you could be, and finally be the best football player you could be.

We also explained our chain of command if there was a concern or question for the program. We did not entertain any questions that did not follow this program and procedure. We expected the parents to contact the position coach of their child initially , then the head coach. As a coaching staff, we met with the parents at their convenience as much as possible.

If at this point there was no resolution, the parents had the right to contact the athletic Director. The athletic Director would then meet with the head coach to get a full understanding of the issue meeting would be held with the Head football staff the parent and possibly athletic Director.

Finally, most issues dealt with playing time. We handled that in two different ways ,neither of which are original to me. We asked the parents who their son should be playing ahead of. I would offer the disgruntled parents the right to speak with the parents of the player that was taking playing time away from their child. The head coach would be present during these conversations. 

Secondly, I would emphasize at our previously mentioned parent meeting the other piece of advice that I adopted. I would explain that no parent is emotionally equipped to evaluate their child as a football player. Their job was to love their child and support their child. The evaluation would be done by the coaching staff. 

This whole philosophy was the result of trust. Without trust on both sides, your football program can easily be destroyed. .


 

Mark Massey- Clinton

Parents:
Much like life things may not go perfectly for your child during this season. That’s OK. Please remember the statistics of the number of high school athletes that receive college scholarships is something like two or 3%. If your child is in that category, the colleges will find them, if not help your son or daughter embrace the experience of being a teammate and working at improvement. 

What better place for young people to experience the fun satisfaction and even frustration of working together. I won’t give you the quotes about persistence and getting back up over after failure, but the Internet is complete with them, it’s not how your child or you as a parent fail momentarily, but rather how you react. Please don’t try to be an auxiliary coach either during a contest or before or after. We found that the best experiences happen when the parent is an emotional support person. Encourage your child to do their best and be a good teammate. 




Mike Cooper- Ottawa
 
If I had to speak to parents I would make sure I had a meeting at the start of the season to give them my expectations. Communication is very important between a coach and parents. If parents know what is expected of them the season tends to go better. I try to use the 24 hour rule if a parent has an issue they want to discuss. I am up front with them that I am not going to talk about another player on the team or allow them to talk about another player. If they want to talk about their own child that is fine. I also want them to bring their child if we have a meeting. I want to make sure all parties are on the same page. 

I encourage parents to be supportive of their child when they are at home. Encourage them to continue to work hard even when they aren't getting alot of playing time. In real life you might have a boss you don't agree with and you still have to make it work. 

I do try to include the parents when we do team activities. I allow them to help with the planning and allow them to have some input especially in the summer. If parents feel like they are an important part of the program they tend to talk positively about the program when they are in a public setting. Most parents like being involved and helping if their child is a member of the team.  

Parents can make or break a season! 




Evan Massey- Galesburg
We would have a preseason meeting with parents after our intrasquad scrimmage. I tried to focus on things that I thought parents could do to help their daughter’s have a positive experience. Here are some thoughts that I shared- 

1- Players who believe in their coaches and believe in the teammates are most likely to improve and reach their potential. Parents who second guess the coaches and the other players, take away a players belief, and impact their son/daughter’s improvement and ability to reach their potential.

2- Left on their own, players like being part of a team, and feel they are important to the team. Teammates and coaches will make your son/daughter feel important to the team, no matter their role. The more a player believes in their role, the better they play, and the more likely they are to keep getting more and more significant roles. Parents who get upset about their son/daughter’s playing time and role take away their son/daughter’s ability to enjoy their experience and to feel they are important to their team. 

3- Players perform best when they are focused on what they have practiced. Players perform best when they are in the “zone” or locked in. The coach and teammates have all been involved in the preparing and can help keep a player locked in and in the zone. Parents who try to coach their son/daughter’s in games create confusion, stress, and noise which all cause the son/daughter not to ever get in the zone and perform at a high level. 

4- Parents who coach their son/daughter during games and at home, take away a valuable part of the sports experience. Sports can give a player a sense of confidence and independence that will help them later in life. The parent who is constantly coaching, evaluating, and judging is creating an atmosphere of dependence and a lack of confidence in the athlete. 



Greg King, Sterling
I think once as a coach you realize parents are not the enemy, your life is so much simpler.  Understand they want is what is best for their child.  The sooner they realize that is what you want for their child as well, within the confinement of the team setting, the better the relationship.  One of the better things I stole from another coach was a parent-player handbook that I gave to the players.  It did everything from giving our mission statements, program philosophy (including the philosophy of the underclass and varsity levels), attendance policy, equipment and safety requirements, strength and conditioning, the importance of participating in other sports, and what both players and parents can expect from coaches.  I wanted to be as transparent with parents as I could.  I wanted to let them know they could come to me as well.  I have had a few parents come to me because they were having some problems at home.  Many times I had something of value to the player - playing time.  So we worked together to help the player through whatever they were going through.  



Bob Anderson, Williamsfield
In 47 years of coaching at Williamsfield, I never held a parent meeting. My feeling was the players play for me, not the parents. I wanted to stay away from the parents all I could. It really worked out pretty well. 

If I did have a meeting, I think I would dwell on three things, which I also would talk to the players about. 
1- Tell them how the athletic code and the suspensions work. 
2- Tell them playing time will be earned thru practice attendance and effort. 
3- We expect full cooperation and attention to detail and to the coaching staff. 

My goals were about the same for each and every team I had. 
1- Make them better people.
2- Help them get their education.
3- Make them the best team we could. 


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