In the 1980’s when I was a young coach, I had a chance to listen to legendary Rock Island coach, Duncan Reid speak at a coaching clinic. He spoke about his run and jump pressure defense, and shared tips on how to develop young shooters. His knowledge of basketball was overwhelming, and of course, Duncan Reid was very entertaining.
Coach Reid spoke about the role of parents in basketball. He said,”A player can’t perform if they are trying to listen to both the coach and to their dad during a game.”
Reid said he told his players the following,”If I ever see you looking or listening to your dad during a game, I will immediately send in a sub and get you out of the game. When you come out of the game, I will send you over to sit with your dad because obviously you feel he has something important to say.” He claimed that he had never had to do it because the players knew he wasn’t kidding.
Parents may think this is a power thing on the part of coaches. It is not a power thing, coaches want to win, and they know that a parent coaching in games makes their son/daughter worse not better. Sadly I have seen players who play with energy, enthusiasm, and confidence in practice but in games when a parent starts coaching they have lost that confidence in a hurry.
At a IBCA meeting, a coach shared a story with me that they had an overbearing dad who wanted to coach all the time. When dad wasn’t at games, the player averaged 16ppg, when dad was at games the player averaged only 9ppg when dad came to games.
My advice- Let go, let your son/daughter become confident and independent. People with confidence and independence have success in life.
Here is a short but great article entitled- “An Open Letter to the Out of Control Sports Parent Sitting Next to Me in the Stands.”
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