Coaches and Critics

At coaching clinics veteran coaches warn young coaches, “Don’t go into coaching if you want to be liked.” I heard that when I was in my twenties, but I didn't really believe it was true. Most young coaches really don’t believe it. I was sure I would work so hard, have a solid basketball mind, and would relate to players. How could I not be a well-like and popular coach?

I was very fortunate that when I first started in girls basketball I had two things going for me. One, there was little community interest in girls basketball so I could make mistakes, grow, and not be under a microscope. And two, I had administrators who had confidence in me. My AD chose to shelter me from critics. 

"You Might Have Quit"

Seven or eight years after George Lundeen (my first AD) had retired, we were standing in the gym, talking before a game. A former parent walked in. George turned to me and said, "Man, that guy hated you."  

George explained the man had called 3-4 times, just irate about me. I was totally taken back, I had no idea. I asked George why he had not shared that with me. He replied,"There was nothing he had to say would have made you a better coach, and at that point in your career you might have quit."

As I look back, I was so fortunate that I was sheltered as a young coach. It allowed me to not hear the "noise," and focus on what was important. I am not sure administrators today would be allowed to do this. 

When the team loses, it is likely parents or players will be unhappy with playing time. When the team wins, it is likely some parents or players will be unhappy with playing time. Winning does not bring happiness and satisfaction. 

I had friends who tried to tell me about a parent or a fan, who was upset with me. I tried to stop them and tell them that I didn't want to hear it- it wasn't going to help me. Whether on internet comment pages or social media, I tried to avoid reading ANY comments. I actually avoided reading newspaper articles about our team. It is not meant as anything negative toward the reporters, I like most of them and when I have read their articles, most were fair and accurate. 

"Ask Him To Be Quiet"

In coaching there are tough decisions about players and quick in-games decisions that must be made. I did not want to hear a lot of “voices” when I was trying to make decisions. In a game I didn't want any hesitation because I was thinking about "advice" a writer or parent had given. 

My assistants provided the perspective I needed and wanted. The discussions with your staff about players and situations are valuable because they have been to practices. In practices and games, assistants are constantly giving feedback and criticism- it doesn't mean the head coach listens to them. When Steve Peachey was my assistant, he constantly talking to me on the bench during games. Often I might ignore him or even ask him to be quiet. But he kept throwing ideas out to me- maybe only one in five was used by me, but those suggestions made the difference between winning and losing. 

Criticism and advice from assistants must be sought out and must be listened to. It is another set of trained eyes and an objective individual with team goals. The criticism of parents and fans is coming from individuals untrained in our system and plan, and usually a biased individual concerned with an individual. Feelings can be very intense and emotional. 

Through the years, I experienced the negative things that all or most coaches experience-

- 5 page letter from an angry parents with a combination of coaching advice, and alternative career counseling.

- a visit at my house from a dad who shared that I was a "nice guy and worked hard, but just couldn't coach."

- several email suggestions on how I was not taking advantage of the skills of their daughters.

- after a loss in the Elite 8, six messages on my phone giving me a scathing post-season evaluation.

"She Travelled 12 Times"
Some critics can be so off the wall that you really don’t feel hurt. In the early days of coaching, my wife and my assistant's wife (Mary O’Malley) kept our team stats. A player’s mother accused our wives of intentionally fabricating stats to hurt her daughter. According to the mom, the wives were not counting turnovers made by the girl starting ahead of her daughter. 

The angry mother said, "I came to the last game early and counted the turnovers by the starter. She travelled 12 times, threw 4 bad passes, and missed 7 shots- but on your stats she only had 2 turnovers and 3 missed shots." After more discussion, the wives realized that the mother was watching warmups not the game. Today it is funny to think about, but at the time it was not funny when the wives decided to quit doing stats. 

"Not Everyone Thinks They Know Something About Milking Cows"

Several years ago after reaching a win milestone I was interviewed about the achievement. I expressed I had was proud to be a coach and appreciate the recognition, but that I had uncles and cousins who worked longer hours on their dairy farms than me, and never got the recognition I did. 

Coach Harley Knosher told me, “It may be true your cousins worked very hard on the dairy farm but there are two big differences. Not everyone thinks they know something about milking cows but they do think they know basketball. And when your cousins screwed up, they didn’t have 2,000 people in the barn evaluating them.”

When you set up a last second play and it doesn’t work, the fan is not the only one who second guesses the call. Don’t you think if the coach had it to do over again, they would pick a different play or a different shooter? 

I am not saying coaches should not be open to second guessing, but I am suggesting that a lot of the criticism of coaches is not constructive for anyone. We need to allow young coaches to grow. Six of my first nine years were losing seasons, and I did not have a team win a Regional title until my tenth year. If we had had newspaper internet comments then, can you imagine the flattering things that would have been said about me?

In the early ‘90’s, father of a player said to me,”I don’t know when it happened, but sometime in the last 3-4 years you quit worrying about whether a decision you made would cause players and parents to like you. You started just doing what you knew was best for the team. That is why you are winning.”

"Savanna Won Only Two More Regional Titles In 50 Years"
When I was a child, I fantasized that my father would get back into coaching when I got to the high school. He had no plan to do that, and he died when I was 12 years old, so that fantasy never came true. I asked my mother different times about why my father had quit coaching basketball. She would always say that my dad retired a year after my brother was born to spend more time at home. Later as I got involved in coaching, she admitted to me that although he wanted to be at home more, she thought two negative fathers on his last team helped give him the push to retire. 

Consider this, my father coached at Fulton HS and Savanna HS for 23 years. His team's had 15 winnings seasons, and 5 Regional titles. His Fulton team was the only small school in NW Illinois to ever make it to State in the one-class system. Savanna won only 2 more Regional titles in 50 years after my Dad retired, and had a grand total of 11 winning seasons. My dad is a pretty good example to show it is hard in coaching to keep people happy. 

"Stay Focused On The Most Important Part"

I have been very fortunate to not have to deal with lots of attacks. So as someone reads this, don’t feel I am trying to tell you how tough coaching has been for me. Compared to the average coach, I was extremely blessed to work with a lot of really great parents, players, and fans.

My hope is that some parents and some fans will read this and recognize how much a coach would appreciate it if you would once in awhile give them a pat on the back and tell them they are appreciated.

For all the coaches, try to block out the "noise." As long as you stay focused on the most important part of coaching- your players and your coaches- you will find coaching will bring you great joy!